God Has Too many Rules.
Christians talk about having joy and being free in Christ, but how can that be true if they have to follow all of God’s rules?
I Don't Feel God.
Have you ever wondered why you can’t always feel God when you think you should?
God Doesn't Seem To Care.
God Doesn’t Seem to Care!
Sometimes when we look at all the pain and hurt in the world, it seems like God doesn’t care about what we’re going through.
Let's look about it at our new website Questions God. Com if you are curious, searching and looking for purpose here.
Sex / Marriage / Christian Marriages
A Daily Bible Method Reading of the Bible Done Successfully click here
(Bible Reading Methods, Structures of the Bible, Best Translations to Use,Where to Start )
A Website for Christian singles who have contemplated using an online Christian dating site, to better understand how they work and to learn how to safely make the most out of your experience www.christiandatingsites.net
A Daily Morning & Evening Reading Devotional Plan from Jan to Dec click here
A Day Study in Stewardship by Tim Keller click here
A Help to Domestic Happiness by John Angell James click here
Counseling Recipes by Timothy Tow click here
Counseling Recipes on Chap 7 on Pre-Marital Counseling by Timothy Tow click here
Do All to the Glory of God by Watchman Nee click here
(Marriage, Mating, Husband & Wife, Parenthood, Friendship, Recreation, Speech, Clothing & Eating, Managing Your Finances etc.)
How to get the Most From Reading Your Bible by Thomas Watson click here
How to Pray for the Lost click here
Jewels from James by John Angell James click here
Marriage by Leon O. Poole click here
The Christian Father's Present to His Children by John Angell James click here
The Christian Professor by John Angell James click here
The Mutual Duties of Husbands & Wives Towards Each Other
by Richard Baxter click here
The Necessity & Excellence of Family Religion by Samuel Davies click here
The Normal Christian Church Life by Watchman Nee click here
The Normal Christian Life by Watchman Nee click here
(The Blood of Christ, The Cross of Christ, One Body in christ, The Goal of the Gospel etc.)
The Widow Directed to the Widow's God by John Angell James click here
The Young Man Leaving Home by John Angell James click here
What the Bible Says About Marriage & Sex!
SEX, GOD & MARRIAGE BY J. C. ARNONLD click here
In The Beginning.
In the Image of God
It Is Not Good for Man to Be Alone
The First Sin
Restoring the Image of God
Sexuality and the Sensuous Sphere
The Pure in Heart
What God Has Joined Together
Marriage in the Holy Spirit
The Mystery of Marriage
The Sacredness of Sex
Parenthood and the Gift of Children
The Purity of Childhood
For Those Considering Marriage
The Service of Singleness
The Spirit of Our Age
With or Without God
Shameful Even to Mention?
The Hidden War
What about Divorce and Remarriage?
Therefore Let Us Keep Watch
SEX, GOD, & MARRIAGE BY J. C. ARNONLD click here
SEX, GOD, & MARRIAGE STUDY GUIDE BY J. C. ARNOLD click here
What the Bible Says About Sex!
God wants a sexually pure church and His instructions on sex in the Bible are sanity saving and life-giving. There are twenty articles giving a biblical Christian perspective on topics such as love, singleness, dating, homosexuality, same sex marriages, cloning, forgiveness in marriage, adultery of the heart, infertility, pornography, abortion, sex before marriage, prostitution, sexually transmitted disease, marrying an unbeliever and masturbation.
The articles are concise solid bible teaching that I hope will help you find your way through the sexual maze. The approach is simply "what the Scriptures say about X" in a fairly plain fashion. There is a certain lack of illustration or stories and its pretty much a "just the facts " approach. By the end of each article you should have a clear idea of what the Bible says and what God's will is for Christian sexuality.
What the Bible says about Sex
Download This Free e-Book - What the Bible says about Sex click here
Section 1 - The Basics
This section covers the following basic topics
1. Love - The Greatest Thing
2. Your Body Is A Temple Of The Holy Spirit
3. The Christian's Struggle With Sin
Section 2 -Singleness & Romance
This section covers the sexual issues of single and single-again Christians:
1. How to be a Truly Christian Single
2. Finding A Godly Husband Or Wife
3. Why You Should Not Marry An Unbeliever
4. Romance - a Christian View
5. Sex Before Marriage, Prostitution and STD's
Section 3 - Cloning And Abortion
This section covers the following issues:
1. Cloning: Has Science Gone to Far?
2. When Does Life Begin?
3. Six Answers As to Why Abortion is Nearly Always Wrong.
Section 4 - Problems Within Marriage
This section covers the following issues:
1. Adultery of the Heart
2. Married People Must Learn To Forgive
3. Infertility - Couples who Can't Have Children
Section 5 - Controversial Issues:
This section covers the following issues:
1. What the Scriptures say on Homosexuality
2. Biblical Response to Same - Sex Marriages
3. Pornography - Why Christians Should take a Stand
4. Sex in Advertising
Download This Free e-Book - What the Bible says about Sex click here
BIBLICAL PRE-MARITAL COUNSELLING
Counseling by itself and by its very nature is a Christian
concept because our Lord Jesus Christ Himself is Counselor,
and so His Word, the Bible, becomes the source of His counsel.
It is imperative that in pre-marital counseling, the human
counselor should look to Him and His Word for instruction.
Why the Need for Pre-marital Counseling
God says, “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge”
(Hosea 4:6a). We also have the wise words of Solomon on the
importance of counseling, “Without counsel purposes are
disappointed (or frustrated): but in the multitude of counselors
they are established” (Proverbs 15:22). And yet too often many
couples have entered this sacred institution, marriage, without
due consideration of its seriousness. For it is “not by any to be
entered into unadvisedly or lightly; but reverently, discreetly,
advisedly, soberly, and in the fear of God, duly considering the
causes for which matrimony was ordained.” This is what we hear
declared by the officiating minister whenever we witness a church
So, don’t rush headlong into marriage. Consult God and pray
earnestly before making that serious commitment. How true the
saying, “Marry in haste, repent at leisure.”
J Allan Petersen, in his preface to the book Before You Marry, writes:
“No sane person would ever leap blindfolded over an
unknown cliff with nothing but a hope that it would prove to
be a good decision. No wise person would commit himself
to life in a strange land without knowing something about
what to expect and the difficulties he would inevitably face.
No one foolishly commits himself to play a game without
knowledge of the rules that determine its success or
Yet millions of young men and women take these same
unbelievable risks when it comes to marriage. They feel
their marriage will somehow be happier than most
marriages they have observed. But they have no valid
reason to expect it...”
“It is no surprise then that the highest incidence of divorce is
found in the below-25 age group... Wives under 20 are involved
in almost half of all divorces recorded yearly.” In America it has
been estimated that more than one million marriages end in
divorce every year. What a staggering figure! In our tiny island
republic one out of ten ends in the divorce courts. But this is not
what God intended and ordained it to be. Marriage is a
permanent relationship as attested by the words of our Lord
“What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put
asunder” (Matthew 19:6b, Mark 10:9). It is also intended to be a
“And they twain shall be one flesh”
(Matthew 19:6a, Mark 10:8a). Furthermore, it is for spiritual
companionship: “Can two walk together, except they be agreed”
What is Christian Marriage?
It may be defined as the union of one Christian man to one
Christian woman for life. But my favorite definition is this one:
Christian marriage is “a total commitment and a total sharing of
the total person with another person until death.” In a Christian
marriage, “the dependence is mutual, the obligation reciprocal,
and the dependence on God, absolute.” At the heart of marriage
is companionship, communion and consummation. God’s blueprint
for marriage involves Leaving, Cleaving and Becoming One
Flesh. The husband and wife relationship is the closest, the most
intimate of all human relationships for it is likened to the
relationship between Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5:22-33).
The Role of the Husband in Marriage
The husband is the head of the wife and the home. This is
the constituted order which God Himself ordained. Here
headship is not in the sense of being “the boss of the show,” nor
does it mean that his is “the master’s voice” in all matters, but in
the sense of being a spiritual leader, directly in responsibility to
God who is your Head. The husband is to show deference to his
wife as the weaker but not an inferior partner. She is her
husband’s equal in the grace or gift of life (I Peter 3:7). The
husband’s role is to provide and protect the family: to give
strength, support, stability and security. Unhappy is the home
where authority and control are assumed by the wife because this
is against God’s injunction. Many are the blessings when God’s
order is obeyed. Billy Sunday once said, “If you want your wife to
be an angel, don’t treat her like the devil.”
The Role of the Wife in Marriage
The wife is the heart of the home. She has a high and holy
calling and that is one of loving submission to her husband as the
Church submits to Christ. The apostle Paul declares, “Therefore
as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be unto their
own husbands in everything” (Ephesians 5:22-24, Colossians
3:18, I Peter 3:1,2).
“Was there ever a time when the true church felt that it did
not want to be subject to Christ? Was there ever a time
when Christ, the Head of the church, ruled and governed
His flock like a ruthless tyrant? Has there ever been a time
when you, as a Christian, have felt that Christ dealt with
you in a loveless, unjust manner? Has there ever been a
time when in obeying Christ you were made to feel like a
dog obeying his master? Of course, the answer is no. The
whole relationship is one of limitless love and not of tyranny
and domination.” O W Toelke
In the words of A McClaren, “No wife ever had a satisfactorily
wedded life who did not look up to and reverence her husband.”
The Word of God says, “...thy desire shall be to thy husband, and
he shall rule over thee” (Genesis 3:16b). In other words, she is to
be helpful and responsive to every reasonable request of her
Six Vital Secrets for a Happy Marriage
1. Put God first in everything.
The apostle Paul’s counsel
“Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all
to the glory of God” (I Corinthians 10:31). See also Matthew
2. Seek reconciliation at once.
Remember love will not
prevent misunderstandings or quarrels. Because we are human,
seldom is husband or wife completely right or completely wrong.
Any misunderstandings or quarrels should be settled immediately,
on the same day they occur before going to bed at night.
not the sun go down upon your wrath” (Ephesians 4:26).
humble enough to say, “I was wrong” followed closely by “I am
sorry.” James says,
“Confess your faults one to another, and
pray one for another” (James 5:16). A successful marriage
requires two sincere forgivers who can accept and forgive as God
accepts and forgives us.
3. Be steadfast in love.
It is said that a successful marriage
requires “falling in love many times BUT ALWAYS WITH THE
SAME PERSON.” The husband should love his wife with the
same selfless and sacrificial love that Christ has so demonstrated
on the Cross for His Church. The wife is to respond in the same
manner. It is said that marriage is a two-way street of
consideration and cooperation. It is founded upon kindness,
selfless devotion and consideration. Great happiness is made up
of little kindnesses. Lack of consideration and appreciation is a
great divisive factor in marriage. “Nag people and they sag;
believe in people and they bloom.” Another good reminder which
I find very appropriate is from a poem from Margaret Sangster
which runs like this:
We have careful thought for the stranger,
But oft for our own,
The bitter tone,
Though we love our own the best.
4. Preserve the bond of marriage.
Preserve this unity at all costs. It is the gracious design of the Architect of marriage that
the married couple remain faithful to each other and to God
whatever the circumstances.
“And they twain shall be one flesh:
so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore
God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Mark 10:8,9).
5. Keep private matters private.
The wedded couple
should endeavor to keep certain matters to themselves and
within the confines of their newly established home, “a sacred
citadel of exclusiveness where no prying eyes or gossiping
tongues are permitted.
” Even the Lord our God keeps His own
secrets, but what He has revealed concerns us and our posterity
6. Establish a mutual trust in money matters.
keep in mind that whatever you possess comes from the loving
hand of God. You are merely stewards entrusted with whatever
God is pleased to bestow upon you.
“But thou shalt remember
the Lord thy God: for it is he that giveth thee power to get wealth”
O W Toelke has some pertinent points
pertaining to the management of family finances:
Most frequently difficulties arise in the family finances when
there is too great a disparity in the financial backgrounds of
the marriage partners. Two people, even husband and
wife, with different sets of financial values, and different
attitudes toward money, can very readily disagree on how
money is to be used. What one regards as a luxury, the
other may consider a necessity.
In order to avoid difficulties in the administration of the
family funds, some very basic concepts should be resolved
upon at the very beginning of the marriage.
Whether you are going to pool your resources in a joint bank
account or keep a separate account, you know best and you need
to come to an agreement from the outset. From my own
experience, it is good to have a certain amount that one can use
freely as one sees fit.
What is Dating?
The concept of dating varies from culture to culture. Dating
may be defined as “a special kind of friendship between two
people of the opposite sex that may lead to courtship, love and
For young people who are still schooling or under training,
they do not generally date acquaintances. How then would young
people get to know one another? It is through group dating.
Group dating is one in which a small group of those closer to you
is chosen from among a large group of common friends. Group
dating provides you with opportunities to learn about one another
through communication both verbal and non-verbal.
It is through
group dating that you learn to cultivate manners and learn how to
give and take, how to conduct yourself in company and to enjoy
the company of the opposite sex without being too involved
emotionally with one person. Hence group dating offers you
opportunities to grow socially in the right way. Many social
activities can be arranged such as picnics, fishing, concert going,
eating, attending fellowship meetings, etc.
Many a boy-girl relationship instead of being “just be friends”
relationship prematurely becomes a single dating relationship,
that is, they become lovers before becoming friends. This is
infatuation and not true love.
Difference Between Infatuation and True Love
Infatuation is likened to a passing cloud, now here, gone
later. Many people can be infatuated with more than one person
at the same time: And it is characteristic of teenagers. It is based
mainly on physical appearance. It is like the “real thing” to you
when you are in it. However, when an infatuated person
discovers more of the other party, the feelings often disappear as
fast as they appeared. Many are turned off and scared away
when the other party responds. It is love of emotion. It is “being
carried away by unreasoning passion or attraction” (Webster).
Love, on the other hand, is different. When a person is in love, he
learns to accept and love the other person more as time goes by.
Love lasts and progresses gradually and deeply; and there is
understanding and acceptance.
Time brings two people in love closer together, rather than
separates them as in the case of infatuation: out of sight, out of
mind. A person in love is not bound by chains of anxiety or
jealousy. The other party is free to be herself or himself. This
does not happen to an infatuated person. True love is giving, not
taking. Infatuation is a selfish and possessive emotion. This love
of emotion can cause you to be infatuated with someone, for
example, a Hollywood film star you don’t even know, and have
never met. Genuine love is “a growing experience, based on
mutually shared interests, beliefs, attitudes and goals.”
When are you Old Enough to Date and How?
This varies from individual to individual. Some manifest
maturity and responsibility earlier than others of the same age.
Readiness for dating therefore does not depend solely on
chronological age but rather on one’s values, one’s maturity, and
one’s understanding of the main purpose of dating which is to
develop close friendship. It is not to practice your sex technique
and petting skills. Keep yourself pure by taking heed to God’s
1. Be sure to walk in God’s appointed way.
forget not my law: but let thine heart keep my commandments:
For length of days, and long life, and peace, shall they add to
thee. Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy
neck; write them upon the table of thine heart: so shalt thou find
favour and good understanding in the sight of God and man”
2. Trust in the Lord, acknowledge Him in all your ways.
“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own
understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall
direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord,
and depart from evil” (Proverbs 3:5-7).
3. Listen to parental instruction for your own good.
son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of
thy mother. For they shall be ornament of grace unto thy head,
and chains about thy neck” (Proverbs 1:8-9). Because of their
experience, wisdom and knowledge, God can use parents to
guide their children in their dating relationships. Parents, it must
be realized, do have the benefit of objectivity.
4. Honour and obey your parents.
“Children, obey your
parents in all things: for this is well-pleasing unto the Lord”
5. Exercise self-control.
There is a time for everything. To
be self-controlled is to do everything in its proper time. These are
words of wisdom from king Solomon (Ecclesiastes 3:1-4). Self control
is one of the virtues of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23).
Paul’s advice to young Timothy was to “Flee also youthful lusts:
but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace....” (II Timothy
6. Don’t be yoked with an unbeliever.
“Be ye not
unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship
hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion
hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with
Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And
what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the
temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them;
and I will be their God, and they shall be my people” (II
How to Stay out of Trouble
Ninety per cent of your temptations on a date will be
overcome if you remember and practice two simple guidelines:
a. You will have problems being excited by a look, since
most of your prime temptation will come visually; so guard
your eyes. Keep a “Job’s covenant,” and you will keep the
doorway to your mind and emotions.
b. You will give a girl a problem by touch, so keep your
hands to yourself! If you take care of your eyes and
hands, you will not be burned on a date.
a. You are going to give a guy problems by the way you
dress, so watch it! Don’t dress to stir lust in your
boyfriend; dress as if you were going to be ushered into
Heaven right on your date, and Jesus will not be ashamed
of you. Help keep him from temptation by the right clothes
(I Timothy 2:9-10).
b. Keep a “hands off” attitude with your date. It may be
hard to say “No” but you must. No heavy necking or
petting can develop this way. If your boyfriend does’t
understand because he does’t want to understand, repeat
it a couple of times, then use this “emergency” prayer:
Extend your free hand from your shoulder, pull it back
behind you, then offer up a quick petition thusly: “Lord,
give me strength for this task!” Then slap him hard! If he
does’t think your action was very scriptural, show him
Ecclesiastes 9:10 - “Whatsoever thy hand fadeth to do, do
it with all thy might.”
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